Tag Archives: family

Fighting another day!!!…

I hate these kind of days…

I just feel the pain and haze…

Is it all worth it???…to fight for another day???…

I am just so tired of the fight to get up …the pain when even laying down…no comfort zone near…

Do you hear me???…do you understand me???…

We are on the same team … the same side… fighting a fight of time…fighting a fight where most often we all always look fine… while your body insides are dying off…

No cure in sight …

Just take another pill…but the side effects may kill…

Is your fate sealed like a kiss from a poison widow???…I guess we all have a date with death its in our will…it is our destination …it is where we are going …where we are all headed…

No matter how much we fight we have to wonder if there is really light at the end of the tunnel…

Heaven …yes I believe…

Hell… yes I believe…

I don’t want to fathom the thought of hell…maybe here being on earth is the hell that is spoken of???…

Only God can tell…

I am tired…tired of many things …

But loving all of you on here is not one of them…

Plunge Me In…

Plunge me in the river Jordan….

Baptize , Submerge me in the depths of all its faiths …That has been before me…

All love…No hate…

Lets get out of this ill state…We are all in…

Lift me up cleanse me from the filth …Lift me out of the hate of our worlds fate…

Take my clothes off my back…Take all my belongings…

Take what you need from me..take it all…burn it…

Nothing left to hide…Nothing left to bare …And I don’t fucking care…

Fire intensifies …Hair on my arms are burning …

You took everything even the ones I had on…

You pushed me…Into the flames…

It’s just me…My soul…

Close your eyes …Tell me what you see…

Touch my body…What do you feel…

Touch my chest…Do you feel it beating?…

Like a Phoenix rises from its ashes…

I rise again…

 

 

 

*Picture from Google….

 

 

 

IGNORANCE is NOT BLISS..I/WE/US..

“And some people around you only make things worse”….. How TRUE this statement is.. I know when I am at my WORST I try to stay to MYSELF since I could GO OFF at any given moment and I really DON’T want to HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS…(I HAVE CONTROL)most of the TIME…. BUT when the PAIN you have is so INTENSE ALL RULES go OUT the DOOR and no matter how HARD you TRY to keep your KOOL you’ve done LOST IT…WE all should KNOW by NOW how PAIN DIFFERS from one PERSON to ANOTHER even WITH the SAME MEDICATIONS..Some people just DON’T GET IT!!! .. that NO good for NOTHING scale they use you know the one with the SMILE face on it.. YEAH WELL Sometimes when I hurt I can still PUT ON that fake azz SMILE ( I am good at that) & I’m sure others are just as good at it too…At times..I/WE/US.. have to be…
But other times if one could really hear the SCREAMS that are going on in my HEAD and how ALONE I feel PHYSICALLY,MENTALLY it EFFECTS the WHOLE BODY and know that I am doing EVERYTHING to FIGHT BACK the TEARS and knowing I would LIKE to BREAK things or BANG my HEAD AGAINST a BRICK WALL !!!… I sometimes JUST CRY in the shower that way no one can tell (being wet) or when I wash my face in the morning/night OH I just got SOAP in my eyes…. I’m LUCKY to have a SUPPORT system like I have…MANY DON’T….. I CAN CRY,SCREAM,SHOUT and just be QUITE if I NEED…..THEY are here for ME….
I remember when SO CALLED FAMILY would ask how I was doing(THEY NEVER CALLED ME or ASKED ME..THEY would ASK my MOM) HOW NICE HUH??!!. WE are HAPPY to HAVE THEM ALL OUT of OUR LIFE!!!…..If ANYONE TELLS ME that EVERYTHING is OK or it’s NOT THAT BAD and it will PASS or it’s ALL IN YOUR HEAD that you can’t BE that SICK and in PAIN ALL THE TIME or well you TAKE pain MEDICATION that should be ENOUGH!!..( I WILL BASH HEADS TOGETHER!!!!)…I GET this ALL the TIME from IGNORANT/CLUELESS HEARTLESS/MOTHERFUCKERS >>>> I know IF I TOOK what YOUR taking I WOULD be KNOCKED OUT and PASSED out IN BED… So YOUR SITTING here so it must NOT be THAT BAD….I/WE/US>>> NEED to GET RID of the NEGATIVE ONES IN OUR LIFE!!..THEY are the ONES that MAKE things WORSE..THEY wear ROSE COLORED SUNGLASSES so that EVERYTHING THEY SEE is FINE (IN the WORLD THEY LIVE IN)and try to put FORTH LIES about OUR LIFE SAYING I’m NOT ILL..or WE are NOT ILL…..I/WE/US NEED to GET RID OF these NARROW minded PEOPLE…Ones like these ARE NOT worth HAVING IN and AROUND US..I have LEARNED that these PEOPLE and MANY others are almost the LEAST EDUCATED/BIG AZZ DUMB FUCKERS(or in short what I call them( DFers) when it comes to INVISIBLE CHRONIC ILLNESSES but THEY THINK that THEY are the MOST EDUCATED …What BREAKS MY HEART is that YOU tell them what all YOU have and all THEY say is OH (SHOWING THEY DON’T CARE) told MANY to LOOK it UP on the INTERNET!!..And I get I will LATER) I know THIS NEVER happens SINCE when WE would see or THEY call mom THEY would ASK HER>>>WHATS wrong with SUZETTE HOW CAN SHE STILL BE ILL>>like a FUCKING RECORD PLAYER…if THEY TAKE the TIME to LOOK up the INFORMATION that was told in the first place THEY WOULD KNOW..

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS……….

ALSO:….
I/WE/US>>> CAN’T JUDGE one persons chronic PAIN level with ANOTHER persons chronic pain level or PAIN in general EVERYONE FEELS PAIN DIFFERENTLY as well as others RESPOND DIFFERENT to it. What WORKS for ONE person may NOT work FOR the OTHER or as well as the other but SAME MEDICATION again everyone response differently to pain and medications given out…..
So with all these INVISIBLE CHRONIC ILLNESSES out in OUR world TRY hard NOT to JUDGE ..when you THINK you see a PERFECTLY fine person getting OUT of the CAR that is PARKED in the HANDICAPPED space JUST try to REMEMBER they ALSO maybe SUFFERING in SILENCE……LIKE… I….WE…US…

ALSO:…. I/WE/US>>> have ENOUGH NEGATIVE  PEOPLE and THINGS that go ON IN OUR LIFE ..LETS BRING IN MORE POSITIVE and LEAVE the NEGATIVE GARBAGE for TRASH DAY..

 

 

It’s Hot In Here Baby!

It’s hot in here so take off all your clothes… OK not that kind of hot but since it’s 87 here in Texas and we are on the last week of October yeah it’s a little on the hot side but anyways… OK back to food people lol the oven is on and ready to go so… I love food lets just get that out-of-the-way…  One of my favorite things to do is cook and eat so let’s do some cooking and after speaking with my dad and going down memory lane with him he remembered a dish that dates back to the late 1890’s his mom Cecile used to make it since he came from a large family and money was tight”with times as hard as they are for most” I just had to make this for him.   Yes this amazing dish can and will feed many and so filling.  This is so easy to make and cheap I hope your family loves it as much as mine does… I’M willing to bet that you have everything that you will need to make this in your refrigerator and pantry… The name of this dish is Cecile Famous Steak Casserole (or Pauteau Aux Steak)… here is what you will need…

Potatoes,Onions,Cinnamon,Cloves,Salt&Pepper,Round Steak or any other piece of meat…

I use round oval roaster or use any casserole pan that goes on the stove.  In roaster put one raw peeled sliced potato, salt,pepper,cinnamon,crushed cloves, 1 raw onions, salt pepper, cinnamon, crushed cloves.  Repeat layers, till almost full.  Put 1 large piece of round steak across top.  Salt, pepper. cinnamon, cloves.  Put some water, simmer on stove slowly for about 4 hours “you may need to add more water as it cooks)” Put rolls across top.  Put in oven at 375 till rolls are brown.  Steak gets so tender you can cut it with a fork.  yummy good…And yes that easy…

Remember cinnamon and cloves are strong so use a little to taste and add from there… If you are a meat and potatoes kind of person like me, you and your family will truly love this “old-time dish”… In fact I just made this the other night. It goes great on a  cool fall or winter night.  The perfect type to stick to your ribs lol… Oh, also you can do some add ins..try a can of veg all or a can each of vegetables and remember any piece of cheap meat will do.  It will get tender…heck even put a roast in place of the round steak you just can not go wrong with this… also if you eat all the rolls and still have plenty of the main dish just add another can or two of rolls and cook in the oven or better yet make your own crust now that is good shit lol… so easy … So let me know if you are going to try to make this amazing dish or if you already made this…If so did you add anything else? Please let me know how it all went for you and I really hope that you enjoyed this…your thoughts are always welcome here….

Here is a picture of our dish and what it should look like…

hugs Suzette  🙂

Here is a picture of our dish and what it should look like…

Cecile Famous Steak Casserole(or Pauteau Aux Steak)
Cecile Famous Steak Casserole(or Pauteau Aux Steak)