Tag Archives: blogging

The Happiness Tag

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Thank you to my blogging sister and friend,

The Happiness Taglifeofanelpasowoman.com

for nominating me to participate in the Happiness tag. You are such an amazing gurl and so much fun…Thank you!!!!….It’s a short but fun challenge so why not do it. The rules are included below:

List
5. Things that make you happy.
5. Songs that make you happy.
5. Bloggers that make you happy. Let them know you nominate them and you are done.

Five things that make me happy

  1. My family : ) My blogging family without you all I would not be doing this..I have so much fun on here with everyone interacting getting to know other more each day..Laughing and crying ..We are all here for each other and it makes me happy to know that I have true family and friends on here….
  2. Chocolate ice cream..enough said… : )
  3. That we are starting  back on our house it is an old house from the 1800’s we were still working on it when dad got hurt but had to stop so we are back on working and getting it finished(at least the outside for now)  but it is going to take baby steps and a lot of time..But so happy
  4. Working with rescue dogs and placing them in a great forever home…Training them to be indoor and outdoor dogs and to teach them tricks and things like to sit and shake and play with them …
  5. Oh I love to cook homemade anything the kitchen is one of my favorite places to be…Like the holidays I love doing it all.. Cheese spread and chips and homemade dips all the works……

five songs that make me happy

This is so very hard for me since I love musik….

  1. Paul Van Dyke Let go… https://youtu.be/myH1GDY03S4
  2. Tiesto Love comes again… https://youtu.be/yYwLLyy-hZQ
  3. Nelly Furtado Say it right… https://youtu.be/6JnGBs88sL0
  4. Justin Timberlake What goes around…comes around  https://youtu.be/TOrnUquxtwA
  5. Sir mix a lot Baby got back lol …https://youtu.be/kY84MRnxVzo

I would love for the following five bloggers to take this challenge:

          1. https://tessacandoit.com/
          2.  https://sheldonkleemanartworks.com/
          3. https://elementhealing.wordpress.com/
          4. https://polishingdookie.wordpress.com/
          5. https://oscardandelion.wordpress.com/

 

Texas…Rain…

Since here in HOTT AZZ Texas everyone may have been seeing that we have been getting so much rain..Getting hit very hard with this rain and more rain and did I mention RAIN!!!??? and some areas are or have been flooding some people have lost everything my heart goes out to those people it really does…It would break my heart to have ruin pictures things like that…

The last two years it has been this way rain, rain and more rain and flooding at this time of year so I thought since I have rain on my brain I would play some of my tunes that has …Yup you guessed it rain in them…

The first one is my man Tiesto it’s an older song but I seem to like it better than the newer musik he has been putting out…… ANYWAYS IT’S GOOD MUSIK AND YOU NEED A BREAK ANYWAYS..SO JUST DO DUE IT!!!LOL

Side note..It has not rained as of yet today so that is the good side of things..I wanted to add more videos but nope can’t do that so these are the two for now…Hope you enjoy : )

If it rains and we were together I will always share my umbrella (Well if I could find it)lol but I love the rain so I would probably just give you the umbrella ….Have a wonderful day and let it rain down on you…

 

Here is Eurythmics so much talent as a group or on her own…

Plunge Me In…

Plunge me in the river Jordan….

Baptize , Submerge me in the depths of all its faiths …That has been before me…

All love…No hate…

Lets get out of this ill state…We are all in…

Lift me up cleanse me from the filth …Lift me out of the hate of our worlds fate…

Take my clothes off my back…Take all my belongings…

Take what you need from me..take it all…burn it…

Nothing left to hide…Nothing left to bare …And I don’t fucking care…

Fire intensifies …Hair on my arms are burning …

You took everything even the ones I had on…

You pushed me…Into the flames…

It’s just me…My soul…

Close your eyes …Tell me what you see…

Touch my body…What do you feel…

Touch my chest…Do you feel it beating?…

Like a Phoenix rises from its ashes…

I rise again…

 

 

 

*Picture from Google….

 

 

 

Die Devil Die…

Just as you plan your day and feel ok all hell breaks loose as I fall to your bed and crumble in a ball your brain overloaded…. sensors going off as I just want to jump off….Don’t get to close to the edge…. I just might… .take a leap a leap of faith maybe today maybe tomorrow all of this sorrow all this pain will fade away as I pray to take it away…As I sit and wait to get on the sea saw of life it all starts again….. like Satan with an evil grin ..I return while you are awake I return as you try to sleep with evil laughter he states I won’t give you breaks only give you possibility of more than you can take… again evil nights evil days same time same place…. I am here to take the place…. of once was your happiness the things you once enjoyed to only remind you of what once was could never be… I am a prisoner of this disease….. I look in the mirror and to the horror it’s ME with the evil grin and red eyes …awake or in dream land and can’t escape… what is real what is fake…. this pain is present for Gods sake…. I drop to my knees with nothing left I am done… don’t want to go on…. where did I put the fucking gun…while my head spins sweat pours down me I can’t take this where is the door… I want to run… I want to hide… why don’t I just die… Evilness of this disease why me..should I had even asked….the evil grin and red eyes are back I feel it… it hurts all over ..there is a monster inside of me..it’s Satan… or so I thought……. It’s just me and my pain of this disease …same time same place ..please take me to that happy place…if only for 5 minutes or 10 I will take what relief I can…..I guess that I will just put on that fake azz smile once again…another day another night….a prisoner trapped in my own self a self I have grown to hate……..

I want to thank my Dear friend https://sheldonkleemanartworks.com/

Please check out his amazing work at the above link….He is the reason, inspiration behind this blog post..Without you Mr Sheldon this blog post would not had happened …Thank you from the bottom of my heart…

Suzette

IGNORANCE is NOT BLISS..I/WE/US..

“And some people around you only make things worse”….. How TRUE this statement is.. I know when I am at my WORST I try to stay to MYSELF since I could GO OFF at any given moment and I really DON’T want to HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS…(I HAVE CONTROL)most of the TIME…. BUT when the PAIN you have is so INTENSE ALL RULES go OUT the DOOR and no matter how HARD you TRY to keep your KOOL you’ve done LOST IT…WE all should KNOW by NOW how PAIN DIFFERS from one PERSON to ANOTHER even WITH the SAME MEDICATIONS..Some people just DON’T GET IT!!! .. that NO good for NOTHING scale they use you know the one with the SMILE face on it.. YEAH WELL Sometimes when I hurt I can still PUT ON that fake azz SMILE ( I am good at that) & I’m sure others are just as good at it too…At times..I/WE/US.. have to be…
But other times if one could really hear the SCREAMS that are going on in my HEAD and how ALONE I feel PHYSICALLY,MENTALLY it EFFECTS the WHOLE BODY and know that I am doing EVERYTHING to FIGHT BACK the TEARS and knowing I would LIKE to BREAK things or BANG my HEAD AGAINST a BRICK WALL !!!… I sometimes JUST CRY in the shower that way no one can tell (being wet) or when I wash my face in the morning/night OH I just got SOAP in my eyes…. I’m LUCKY to have a SUPPORT system like I have…MANY DON’T….. I CAN CRY,SCREAM,SHOUT and just be QUITE if I NEED…..THEY are here for ME….
I remember when SO CALLED FAMILY would ask how I was doing(THEY NEVER CALLED ME or ASKED ME..THEY would ASK my MOM) HOW NICE HUH??!!. WE are HAPPY to HAVE THEM ALL OUT of OUR LIFE!!!…..If ANYONE TELLS ME that EVERYTHING is OK or it’s NOT THAT BAD and it will PASS or it’s ALL IN YOUR HEAD that you can’t BE that SICK and in PAIN ALL THE TIME or well you TAKE pain MEDICATION that should be ENOUGH!!..( I WILL BASH HEADS TOGETHER!!!!)…I GET this ALL the TIME from IGNORANT/CLUELESS HEARTLESS/MOTHERFUCKERS >>>> I know IF I TOOK what YOUR taking I WOULD be KNOCKED OUT and PASSED out IN BED… So YOUR SITTING here so it must NOT be THAT BAD….I/WE/US>>> NEED to GET RID of the NEGATIVE ONES IN OUR LIFE!!..THEY are the ONES that MAKE things WORSE..THEY wear ROSE COLORED SUNGLASSES so that EVERYTHING THEY SEE is FINE (IN the WORLD THEY LIVE IN)and try to put FORTH LIES about OUR LIFE SAYING I’m NOT ILL..or WE are NOT ILL…..I/WE/US NEED to GET RID OF these NARROW minded PEOPLE…Ones like these ARE NOT worth HAVING IN and AROUND US..I have LEARNED that these PEOPLE and MANY others are almost the LEAST EDUCATED/BIG AZZ DUMB FUCKERS(or in short what I call them( DFers) when it comes to INVISIBLE CHRONIC ILLNESSES but THEY THINK that THEY are the MOST EDUCATED …What BREAKS MY HEART is that YOU tell them what all YOU have and all THEY say is OH (SHOWING THEY DON’T CARE) told MANY to LOOK it UP on the INTERNET!!..And I get I will LATER) I know THIS NEVER happens SINCE when WE would see or THEY call mom THEY would ASK HER>>>WHATS wrong with SUZETTE HOW CAN SHE STILL BE ILL>>like a FUCKING RECORD PLAYER…if THEY TAKE the TIME to LOOK up the INFORMATION that was told in the first place THEY WOULD KNOW..

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS……….

ALSO:….
I/WE/US>>> CAN’T JUDGE one persons chronic PAIN level with ANOTHER persons chronic pain level or PAIN in general EVERYONE FEELS PAIN DIFFERENTLY as well as others RESPOND DIFFERENT to it. What WORKS for ONE person may NOT work FOR the OTHER or as well as the other but SAME MEDICATION again everyone response differently to pain and medications given out…..
So with all these INVISIBLE CHRONIC ILLNESSES out in OUR world TRY hard NOT to JUDGE ..when you THINK you see a PERFECTLY fine person getting OUT of the CAR that is PARKED in the HANDICAPPED space JUST try to REMEMBER they ALSO maybe SUFFERING in SILENCE……LIKE… I….WE…US…

ALSO:…. I/WE/US>>> have ENOUGH NEGATIVE  PEOPLE and THINGS that go ON IN OUR LIFE ..LETS BRING IN MORE POSITIVE and LEAVE the NEGATIVE GARBAGE for TRASH DAY..

 

 

Prince is dead…

Prince is dead at the young age of 57….

I am in shock!!! I am at a loss for words …He was just on IG posting pictures ..

I mean I wasn’t a huge, huge fan I loved his hit songs and the others were pretty deep lyrics ..I think he was very talented man and a mystery as well….

How and why ??? and will it come in 3’s ???

Yes I could say so much more on this post but I will just leave it like it is…

Please comment as you find out more information on his death… I just think he was to young and I heard he led a healthy lifestyle soooooo….

R I P  PRINCE….

Mr Coffee you suck

Well I just posted a blog about not able to sleep and Fibromyalgia in the post about Fibromyalgia (I do not know how to link them) sorry..But feel free to read it so you know the whole story….

I was stating that I was going to maybe start my day but first make some coffeee

well you see now the fucking coffee maker is not working at all ..I did all the normal things to try to make it work like hit it…smack it… rub it down and called it all kinds of nice names but oh no the fucker still will not work…We have to have coffee in the morning ..we sit at the coffee table and drink our coffee and talk the morning away so what the fuck??!!!!

I even tried to make one out of an old ice tea maker but hell no that did not work at all either ..I did think there was hope since it started to make it and then grounds were pouring into it and the top was over flowing even tho I did not put that much water in it and coffee also started to come out from the back of this ice maker…I do not think anyone has had as much bad luck with coffee makers than us really I do….Well just put it out there we only have bad luck..that person has a voodoo doll on all of us and when I find out who they are ohhhh the things that I will do to them…………going on 10 years of really fucking bad luck… if I told you everything you all would be in shock for sure..bad , bad luck..FUCK YOU COFFEEEEEE MACHINE …NO GOOD FOR NOTHING …..Mr Coffee you suck as a brand that is for sure!!!!!!…Now how to tell the guys that the coffee machine is broke and another fucking fact it is not even a year old the mother fucker……

I can tell how my day is going to go… But I will do my best not to let it win.. I will do what I do best and hang the fuck in there………………………..

Insomnia+Fibromyalgia- You so mean I hate you!!

well hello Insomnia why yes I am still up and awake… You do know that I have a full day in town tomorrow the Dr wants some test on my neck done things like MRI,CT you know fun shitt…Dad has blood work to be done as well we have to stop over to his Dr office for a minute then we have to go to the bank make some bills out before we leave and drop them off and um my desk looks like a damn Texas Tornado hit it ….NO JOKE!!!

Since my Fibromyalgia started to peak its ugly mean azz head out I have not been able to do much in keeping things organized like my desk things like that so things have been put on hold as it got worse …I knew it was coming but I was still trying to get things done but with brain fog and shitt it just was not going to happen today Shitt I already feel like calling the MRI place and make it for another day but you all know with chronic illnesses you are not sure when you will feel up to doing something and I really need to get dad his blood work and bank and blah,blah lol….

I have taken my bedtime medication like a good girl um that first dose was around 9pm and I laid in bed and just laying down caused pain I did try for longer than I could really stand hell my feet were going back and forth since I was agitated so I got up out of bed..around 11pm I took my last dose of sleeping medication (I start with the lowest dose first) and well again here I am AWAKE!!!..WOOHOO!!!..Even the pain from my pj’s cause discomfort I am thinking about taking a low dose of Prednesone (I know I spelled that wrong)( aka the bitch pill)also that will keep you up as well.. but fuck at this point I do not care the pain in my back is killing me since I have been up so long I am about ready to take a half of a pain pill but usually never have one after 4ish or 5ish pm every once in a while laying down helps with the pain of that but looks like that is not an option now does it lol..

So here I am still awake thinking about starting my day .. Make some coffeeee (I wish coffee gave me energy) then take a shower and with that brings more pain at times since the water hitting my skin hurts but at least I would not have to do it tomorrow and I could get most of my hair dry lol so I could undo my hair and I wanted to play with my makeup so I thought about wearing some for the day out but would not put that one till around 10:00am or so (I like no look makeup on myself) it differs with the plans of course and I do not wear makeup everyday at all… I could make some noise and make out a few checks that have to be drop off and paid tomorrow and make some deposit slips and things like that ( I believe and hope that I still have a desk somewhere under all this mess) SO NOT ME…everything has a place so this bothers me to no end…

We may get home by 5pm I have to be at my appointment at 1pm and I told the guys that I would cut their hair when we got back home and with my fibro and pain and no sleep oohhh hell I think it just might be a day from hell and I DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME AND LAY DOWN AND SCREW MY SYSTEM UP EVEN MORE!!!!…..We all know how one feels when they have not slept in many hours “loopy” and yuck I do not want to be that way….

Well it is 5:10AM…. and my pain level is a hard 10 : (  I think that I will start the coffeeeee and take my morning medications and take a shower or bath..nah shower this time …

What helps you sleep when you have nights like this? or weeks like this?? and relief from spasm all on my back ?  Any advice anyone? Insomnia,Fibromyalgia and lupus and chronic pain all the invisible illnesses … The ones people look you in the eye and can not see the rough shape that one is in or tell the fake smile from a real smile from you..the silent disease that makes us scream at the top of our lungs but only to be heard in our own brains……

4/11/16

Well this was fun…..NOT!!!!!!!

We all are just getting home from what should have been a long day from Dallas and Dr appointments ………..

But instead life just likes to throw us curve balls…..well you know what they can do with them balls……..

So we are home and so tired and hot….I did have to spend sometime in the sun and anyone with lupus knows that is not a good thing I hope that I do not flare due to being out in it we will see….oh and I have not ate all day and starving!!!!!! so left overs are in the oven (thank God)….So I’m past the point of being pissed the fuck off and almost ready just to hit the damn bed…..

Good news……. I’m happy it happened close to home and that we all are safe …

So tomorrow off to the Dr office again…yes let us try this again….oh what fun….

I will try to write a blog post about this shit when I get home (if it’s not to late) as soon as I can….

I THINK THAT I WILL HAVE A LARGE CUP OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM BEFORE I DO GO TO BED….I THINK I DESERVED IT TODAY….AND I AM STILL HOT SINCE THE DAMN AIR WENT OUT IN THE HOUSE……YEAH IT JUST KEEPS GETTING FUCKING BETTER…..

Happy to be back…Illnesses suck hog ballz…..

Hey Everyone!!.. 🙂

I wanted to put a blog post up to let you all know that I’m soooo thankful for each and everyone  “my followers” 🙂 for still being here since my health problems went fucking crazy!!!!!..

I tried to read post and comment on ones that caught my eye while I was out of bed but since I was not out of bed very long let me just say I am sure that I missed so much… I wanted to show everyone  that I was still here and nothing was wrong when in fact that I could hardly stay at the computer long enough to pay bills…I was a mess… I’VE been dealing with my fibro/lupus flares,anxiety and severe pain along with the darkness of depression….yeah I was no good or use to anyone…I failed on those test my illnesses were stronger (this time) 😉

 

So with that said I noticed one day while looking around here that I had missed so many comments and it bothers me!… so as you can probably tell that I’m doing a bit better so I want to take the time and get back to these old comments that you all took the time out of your day to write to me I want to get back to you all  I feel in order to grow and continue that I have to do this first and again it is only fair and I want to read them as well…so every comment will have a reply…. I have seen blog post where people would ask questions in the comment section or even the blogger would ask questions to followers and to my surprise the blogger would never answer the comments that ones ask…I guess some are just like that? But that my friend is not me at all….the whole idea of getting feedback good or bad or a comment and interactions that is what i want and hope to get…

So off to my comment section now then eat a nice homemade dinner that all 3 of us helped with and go from there….

I do have yet another doctors appointment in Dallas tomorrow  maybe two of them if they can work me in…. One is pain management the other one is my Lupus and arthritis Dr ………..LET US HOPE FOR GOOD NEWS…I KNOW I SURE COULD USE SOME THESE DAYS….IT HAS BEEN ROUGH!!!…..But I shall fill you all in on the good and the bad…even if you do not want to hear it haha….

So any advice on ways that have help you work thru fibro/lupus flares and chronic pain? and lets not forget the damn anxiety it was so bad that I could not focus on one single task and seemed as if I was living on my Xanax with no luck at all… I mean it is to the point that I’m not living my life at all just going thru the emotions….what do you do in these times? oh I can not leave out depression that fucker…..

hope to hear back from everyone and again I will return soon as I get back into my routine by that i mean rest from doctors office and the damn drive……