Prince is dead…

Prince is dead at the young age of 57….

I am in shock!!! I am at a loss for words …He was just on IG posting pictures ..

I mean I wasn’t a huge, huge fan I loved his hit songs and the others were pretty deep lyrics ..I think he was very talented man and a mystery as well….

How and why ??? and will it come in 3’s ???

Yes I could say so much more on this post but I will just leave it like it is…

Please comment as you find out more information on his death… I just think he was to young and I heard he led a healthy lifestyle soooooo….

R I P  PRINCE….

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Mr Coffee you suck

Well I just posted a blog about not able to sleep and Fibromyalgia in the post about Fibromyalgia (I do not know how to link them) sorry..But feel free to read it so you know the whole story….

I was stating that I was going to maybe start my day but first make some coffeee

well you see now the fucking coffee maker is not working at all ..I did all the normal things to try to make it work like hit it…smack it… rub it down and called it all kinds of nice names but oh no the fucker still will not work…We have to have coffee in the morning ..we sit at the coffee table and drink our coffee and talk the morning away so what the fuck??!!!!

I even tried to make one out of an old ice tea maker but hell no that did not work at all either ..I did think there was hope since it started to make it and then grounds were pouring into it and the top was over flowing even tho I did not put that much water in it and coffee also started to come out from the back of this ice maker…I do not think anyone has had as much bad luck with coffee makers than us really I do….Well just put it out there we only have bad luck..that person has a voodoo doll on all of us and when I find out who they are ohhhh the things that I will do to them…………going on 10 years of really fucking bad luck… if I told you everything you all would be in shock for sure..bad , bad luck..FUCK YOU COFFEEEEEE MACHINE …NO GOOD FOR NOTHING …..Mr Coffee you suck as a brand that is for sure!!!!!!…Now how to tell the guys that the coffee machine is broke and another fucking fact it is not even a year old the mother fucker……

I can tell how my day is going to go… But I will do my best not to let it win.. I will do what I do best and hang the fuck in there………………………..

Insomnia+Fibromyalgia- You so mean I hate you!!

well hello Insomnia why yes I am still up and awake… You do know that I have a full day in town tomorrow the Dr wants some test on my neck done things like MRI,CT you know fun shitt…Dad has blood work to be done as well we have to stop over to his Dr office for a minute then we have to go to the bank make some bills out before we leave and drop them off and um my desk looks like a damn Texas Tornado hit it ….NO JOKE!!!

Since my Fibromyalgia started to peak its ugly mean azz head out I have not been able to do much in keeping things organized like my desk things like that so things have been put on hold as it got worse …I knew it was coming but I was still trying to get things done but with brain fog and shitt it just was not going to happen today Shitt I already feel like calling the MRI place and make it for another day but you all know with chronic illnesses you are not sure when you will feel up to doing something and I really need to get dad his blood work and bank and blah,blah lol….

I have taken my bedtime medication like a good girl um that first dose was around 9pm and I laid in bed and just laying down caused pain I did try for longer than I could really stand hell my feet were going back and forth since I was agitated so I got up out of bed..around 11pm I took my last dose of sleeping medication (I start with the lowest dose first) and well again here I am AWAKE!!!..WOOHOO!!!..Even the pain from my pj’s cause discomfort I am thinking about taking a low dose of Prednesone (I know I spelled that wrong)( aka the bitch pill)also that will keep you up as well.. but fuck at this point I do not care the pain in my back is killing me since I have been up so long I am about ready to take a half of a pain pill but usually never have one after 4ish or 5ish pm every once in a while laying down helps with the pain of that but looks like that is not an option now does it lol..

So here I am still awake thinking about starting my day .. Make some coffeeee (I wish coffee gave me energy) then take a shower and with that brings more pain at times since the water hitting my skin hurts but at least I would not have to do it tomorrow and I could get most of my hair dry lol so I could undo my hair and I wanted to play with my makeup so I thought about wearing some for the day out but would not put that one till around 10:00am or so (I like no look makeup on myself) it differs with the plans of course and I do not wear makeup everyday at all… I could make some noise and make out a few checks that have to be drop off and paid tomorrow and make some deposit slips and things like that ( I believe and hope that I still have a desk somewhere under all this mess) SO NOT ME…everything has a place so this bothers me to no end…

We may get home by 5pm I have to be at my appointment at 1pm and I told the guys that I would cut their hair when we got back home and with my fibro and pain and no sleep oohhh hell I think it just might be a day from hell and I DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME AND LAY DOWN AND SCREW MY SYSTEM UP EVEN MORE!!!!…..We all know how one feels when they have not slept in many hours “loopy” and yuck I do not want to be that way….

Well it is 5:10AM…. and my pain level is a hard 10 : (  I think that I will start the coffeeeee and take my morning medications and take a shower or bath..nah shower this time …

What helps you sleep when you have nights like this? or weeks like this?? and relief from spasm all on my back ?  Any advice anyone? Insomnia,Fibromyalgia and lupus and chronic pain all the invisible illnesses … The ones people look you in the eye and can not see the rough shape that one is in or tell the fake smile from a real smile from you..the silent disease that makes us scream at the top of our lungs but only to be heard in our own brains……

4/11/16

Married 59 years without knowing love

This really upset me and I didn’t know if I should share or not. I left out most of the drama and somethings that really did not fit this post at this time or the point of this….

My dad got a phone call last night from his oldest brother Bernard and his wife Jeanette. Bernard is the oldest of the boys and in the family they had 11 kids with dad being the youngest. They grew up very dedicated I mean dedicated catholic family.

Anyways dad spoke with Bernard for a while and he was ready to rest so Jeanette wanted to speak with dad like they always do so Jeanette told my dad that she would call dad back after she got Bernard to bed since she is taking full total care of him by herself at the age of 87.

Bernard had another knee operation back on 3-22-2015 and did not follow orders and the Dr all of them told him that he would have problems as the same if he does not follow orders and do what they say. So here we are again he has the operation and they set up physical therapy, nurses coming in 3 times a day with therapy well that lasted a week with him he would not do anything and told them all to leave and never come back so his Dr called Bernard and asked what is going on his reply was I AM NOT DOING IT.. I DO NOT NEED IT the Dr and Jeanette pleaded with him but both got yelled at so that was the end of treatment..

He walks with a walker and has trouble bending his knee (his fault) he just drags his leg when he walks. He does nothing at all at ALL he expects to be waited on at all times by Jeanette.

they had 12 kids together and only one who is getting everything when Bernard passes is the oldest is Albert this has the rest of all the kids very pissed off and Jeanette pissed as well. Albert is the only one to visit them and if you speak on the phone to Bernard this is the only kid he talks about..

Jeanette took total care of her mother that she had move in with them at the time till her passing she has always been a very hard worker she did it all like they had to back in the day.

Jeanette calls dad back and she is in tears she is so tired of being the only one that Bernard will let take care of him and she feels all alone with no help at all. She has to wash him everyday from head to toe and dress him and sometimes feed him she has to stand behind him while he sometimes walks to the bathroom she has to pull his pants down and lift him back up and put the pants together for the most part at times he will just pee on himself. REMEMBER he is ABLE to do all this on his own!!!!.. He just can not bend his knee that is it! a few family members have tried to have a talk with him without any luck except getting yelled at and or kicked out or both.

Well Jeanette and dad keep talking and after about 15 minutes dad comes into my room and dad said that he just heard the most upsetting thing he has ever heard from them. Dad said Jeanette told him after 59 years of being married that Bernard has never once told her that he loves her!!!!!! NEVER ONCE.. she told dad even when they were younger spitting out kids that he never told her. she has even told family members and she found out that he never has told any of the kids that he loved them either except Albert the favorite one. Even my other Aunt went to talk to him and got the old stare down with evil in his eyes like his father used to do.

I do not know why she has lived this long with him? I think it maybe do to being very into catholic and going against the bible with a divorce Jeanette still goes to church she walks everyday and on Sunday. I know the bible said in marriage in sickness and in health but he has never told her that he loves her!! this so bothers me!!! It hurts me to know this she is one of 3 people who I looked up to heck I remember being at her house and she would be doing it all and sitting in her chair hand sewing socks for all the kids and going with her to 4 different grocery stores with coupons for the cheapest deals she did it all and now has to take total care of him for him being lazy and able and NO LOVE….

She Jeanette is the only one that sends a card to my dad since August when he had his major operation that he is still having trouble with and healing. He told Jeanette you send me a card all the time and I love it.  she said I will always send you a card every week and she continues to do so and it really makes my dad so happy..

How to live 59 years without knowing love?

I feel like I should or can do something but I’m not sure if I am allowed to know this information at all.

Dad has no idea what to tell her when she calls again if she brings it up again like she has. You can tell she is hurting inside and out it is weighing on her not only not being or shown love for a lifetime but taking care of him when he is able to but will not!!!…

Any ideas on what I could do to cheer her up (without talking to her) What would you do if this was you? or your family? What are the thoughts going  on in that head of you reading this? please share with me.

I feel blessed to have the family that I do 🙂 and the friends I have made on here and the followers I have.. all have been wonderful to me and patient with me while I deal with my illnesses/health and my dad and the very stressful times that we are having . so I thank you all from the bottom of my heart….things will get better oh and to a special someone “dude”  I’m back bitches lol love suzyQ

So please thoughts on this are all welcome 🙂

Life is to short to not experience the highs and lows of love..

Suzette

Well this was fun…..NOT!!!!!!!

We all are just getting home from what should have been a long day from Dallas and Dr appointments ………..

But instead life just likes to throw us curve balls…..well you know what they can do with them balls……..

So we are home and so tired and hot….I did have to spend sometime in the sun and anyone with lupus knows that is not a good thing I hope that I do not flare due to being out in it we will see….oh and I have not ate all day and starving!!!!!! so left overs are in the oven (thank God)….So I’m past the point of being pissed the fuck off and almost ready just to hit the damn bed…..

Good news……. I’m happy it happened close to home and that we all are safe …

So tomorrow off to the Dr office again…yes let us try this again….oh what fun….

I will try to write a blog post about this shit when I get home (if it’s not to late) as soon as I can….

I THINK THAT I WILL HAVE A LARGE CUP OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM BEFORE I DO GO TO BED….I THINK I DESERVED IT TODAY….AND I AM STILL HOT SINCE THE DAMN AIR WENT OUT IN THE HOUSE……YEAH IT JUST KEEPS GETTING FUCKING BETTER…..

Happy to be back…Illnesses suck hog ballz…..

Hey Everyone!!.. 🙂

I wanted to put a blog post up to let you all know that I’m soooo thankful for each and everyone  “my followers” 🙂 for still being here since my health problems went fucking crazy!!!!!..

I tried to read post and comment on ones that caught my eye while I was out of bed but since I was not out of bed very long let me just say I am sure that I missed so much… I wanted to show everyone  that I was still here and nothing was wrong when in fact that I could hardly stay at the computer long enough to pay bills…I was a mess… I’VE been dealing with my fibro/lupus flares,anxiety and severe pain along with the darkness of depression….yeah I was no good or use to anyone…I failed on those test my illnesses were stronger (this time) 😉

 

So with that said I noticed one day while looking around here that I had missed so many comments and it bothers me!… so as you can probably tell that I’m doing a bit better so I want to take the time and get back to these old comments that you all took the time out of your day to write to me I want to get back to you all  I feel in order to grow and continue that I have to do this first and again it is only fair and I want to read them as well…so every comment will have a reply…. I have seen blog post where people would ask questions in the comment section or even the blogger would ask questions to followers and to my surprise the blogger would never answer the comments that ones ask…I guess some are just like that? But that my friend is not me at all….the whole idea of getting feedback good or bad or a comment and interactions that is what i want and hope to get…

So off to my comment section now then eat a nice homemade dinner that all 3 of us helped with and go from there….

I do have yet another doctors appointment in Dallas tomorrow  maybe two of them if they can work me in…. One is pain management the other one is my Lupus and arthritis Dr ………..LET US HOPE FOR GOOD NEWS…I KNOW I SURE COULD USE SOME THESE DAYS….IT HAS BEEN ROUGH!!!…..But I shall fill you all in on the good and the bad…even if you do not want to hear it haha….

So any advice on ways that have help you work thru fibro/lupus flares and chronic pain? and lets not forget the damn anxiety it was so bad that I could not focus on one single task and seemed as if I was living on my Xanax with no luck at all… I mean it is to the point that I’m not living my life at all just going thru the emotions….what do you do in these times? oh I can not leave out depression that fucker…..

hope to hear back from everyone and again I will return soon as I get back into my routine by that i mean rest from doctors office and the damn drive……

A Rose Is A Rose Is A Rose!

Things are as they are, not as they should be!

Dhananjay Parkheº Jay

Erudite Thinker, Passionate Author, Ambivert Speaker, Calculated Risk-taker Entrepreneur, Dedicated All-in Mentor#भाजपा #किसानमोर्चा भाजपा किसान मोर्चा मीडिया सेल राष्ट्रीय कार्यकारिणी सदस्य - सहयोग

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